Belfast Telegraph

How Sarah leaves me utterly lost for words

By Nuala McKeever

Moose-shooting US Republican Sarah Palin has invented a new word.

In a speech she said she wanted to “refudiate” something. When challenged that such a word didn’t exist, she replied she’d made it up, but “that’s ok ’cos Shakespeare used to make up words all the time”.

She’s inspired me to invent a hybrid word of my own. It describes what she talks every time she opens her mouth — “rub-ollocks”.

She could learn some modesty from her Canadian neighbours. I see from my July calendar that several countries have big national days this month. America has its Independence Day! Northern Ireland has The Battle of the Boyne! France has The French Revolution!

Rousing stuff.

Then you come to July 28 — Canada — Commemoration of the Great Upheaval. The what? I’ve an image of all these Canadians commemorating the Time They Had To Get Up Out Of Their Chair To Answer The Phone When They’d Only Just Sat Down With A Cup Of Tea!

Now that’s what I’d call a Great Upheaval!

But no, it refers to the English expelling all the French-speaking peasants from Nova Scotia in the 1760s.

It went on for years.

It was the Famine, the Troubles and the Inquisition rolled into one. And they call it the Great Upheaval ...

Boy, those Canadians really like to stir it, don’t they?

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