I need to be famous! Not for the money or the adulation or the invitations to take part in reality shows. Simply for the push it would definitely give me to lose weight. Call it the Paparazzi Diet.
Look what happens to people in the limelight. It’s not a coincidence that they see themselves on TV or in photos and suddenly, the weight falls off them.
It happens mostly to women but also to some men. Graham Norton went from lovely in his first tv series to gaunt in his second. Even Dave Arch who conducts the band on Strictly has lost his chubby cheeks.
But the most striking example of the fat to fit this week is Nigella ‘food-porn’ Lawson. In August she’s playing in the Australian surf in a burkini looking like Batman’s big sister. Cut to November and she’s a slip of a thing in a yellow jacket. Obviously the pressure of seeing herself got to her and she “did something about it”.
I’ve seen myself in photos looking less than svelte, but I can hide those snaps, pretend they don’t exist. What’s really needed is to be plastered unavoidably all over the Press until I simply have to hire a personal trainer and turn losing weight into a full-time job. “Will-power”, you say? What’s that?