Belfast Telegraph

It is one’s rugby after all

By Nuala McKeever

The story goes that at a performance of Hamlet, many years ago, as the bodies piled up on the stage, one Victorian lady in the audience turned to her companion and remarked, “How unlike the homelife of our own dear Queen!”

I’m wondering what the present Queen is making of reports about what her grand-daughter Zara Phillips’ new husband, England rugby player Mike Tindall, is getting up to in New Zealand.

Hanging out in bars that feature dwarf-throwing competitions and girl-on-girl jelly fights and being filmed ‘groping’ a blonde who's not his wife?

Really! What was he thinking? Oh, that’s right, he’s a rugby player, he probably wasn’t.

Why commentators wonder aloud what the wives and girlfriends will make of their men's behaviour is beyond me.

These women go out with these men. These men are unlikely to be wrestling dwarves and groping women when out in the pub and then sitting quietly reading the Booker short-list and discussing the finer points of quantum physics when at home.

These women must be perfectly aware of the sort of guys they’ve got. As the Queen herself would no doubt agree, if one wants a gentleman, one doesn’t marry an ape.

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