Belfast Telegraph

Tuesday 16 September 2014

Just what we need, a range of scents for use in an emergency!

I did a double take in a well-known high street chemist's last week. I saw a man's perfume called Police.

At first I thought: "What's Sting been up to now," but then I realised it had nothing to do with his ex band. It's a brand called Police.

Given the circumstances here, I was wondering who'd want to smell like the Police?

And what would that smell be anyway? Fear? Sweat? Petrol fumes?

Or if it's off-duty, vodka and coke and golf courses?

Or maybe, given the suggestion of using skunk oil to spray on rioters, the perfume might have something of that creature lurking in its top notes.

Can we look forward to the other emergency services being marketed this way. Not sure I'd go for Ambulance, but Fire and Lifeboats might be pleasant.

If Police has regional variations, will the Ardoyne version smell of Piggy In The Middle?

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