Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 16 April 2014

Kieran casts a spell on wife Katie

Katie Price

Katie Price could be a pin-up for the fleg protestors and their lack of logical argument. Jordan has married a guy named Kieran.

She said she knew he was "the one" because a psychic told her she'd marry someone called Kevin. "Kieran's name is close to Kevin and it all became clear", she explained.

Right. Maybe I should write and tell her I'm a charity called Society for Terminally Underpaid People In Debt, or STUPID and ask for a donation. She seems to fall for stupid stuff, might be worth a try.

She's not the only female "star" who's worried me this week. Adele won a Golden Globe. So they played her song Someone Like You a lot on the radio and I really listened to the words for the first time properly.

It's a bit dodgy is it not? "Sorry to turn up uninvited but I couldn't stay away", "I hear you're married now" I'm not, I'm still a loser who can't move on and I'm obsessed with you to the point of turning up out of the blue to interrupt your new-found happiness with a nice NORMAL woman!!

Bloomin' heck. Stalker's charter or what?!?! Yes the tune's kinda stirrin' but the lyrics are scary. What next, "I'm All Outta Love But I've Got A Gun And I'm Just Outside Your House So That's Okay"?

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