Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 27 August 2014

My shock tactic to stop teens putting foot in it ...

With manufacturing at an all-time low, I have what I think might just be a wonderful idea for job creation.

It's for an electric shock type device to be inserted into every bus seat, train seat and public bench. The device is harmless until someone (ok, I'm talking mostly about teenagers here) puts his or her big dirty feet onto a seat. Then, it kicks in, giving the thoughtless creep a mild shock, building up to a "Get yer feet off this seat!" intense jolt.

It'll work well for public benches too which attract the sort of morons who don't realise the seat is for your bottom and the back is for your back. Just think, an end to rows of black clad goths perched on the backs of benches with their muddy DMs dirtying the seats for everyone else.

I feel an upturn coming already.

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