Belfast Telegraph

Friday 18 April 2014

My stunning solution to litter louts

A modest proposal to conquer the problem of litter. We’re the most disgusting country when it comes to making a mess of our public places.

Other countries take pride in their environment. We seem to breed individuals who view the environment as nothing to do with them. Sad.

But all the guilt-inducing ads don’t seem to be getting through to the offenders. They still eat and drink and dump. I reckon what’s needed is something a little more shocking.

So, how about issuing citizens with stun guns and let us zap littering people in the act? It’d be a swift, immediate inducement to “Pick it up and take it the f*** home with ye!”

Too strong? Sorry. Let’s just stick to the electric shock and leave the bad language out of it then.

Imagine Crawfordsburn after that huge party last weekend, if we’d been able to zap and go! As they say in Wales: “Tidy”.

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