Belfast Telegraph

Monday 20 April 2015

Nuala McKeever: Why you can’t beat the bishops for skirting the celibacy issue

Three Anglican bishops who don’t like the idea of women bishops, have been accepted into the Catholic church.

Where normally it takes years of study to convert, these guys have been fast-tracked to bishop status in a matter of weeks. And it’s not as if they got through on some special, speedy, no-baggage, check-in tactic. Because each of them has, at least, one very obvious bag — namely, a wife.

So, the bishop can’t BE a woman, but he can HAVE a woman.

Bet that’s going down well with all the lifelong Catholic eminences who’ve had to suffer the loneliness of celibacy to get where they are today (apart from the ones who didn’t).

Can’t you picture them, their faces purple as their vestments, venting down the phone to the Vatican: “All these years I’ve had to make do with a creased poster of Dana circa 1971 on the inside of m’wardrobe door and these boyos just swan in with a real live woman on their arms?!?! It’s not fair!!!!”

Since Henry VIII’s shenannigans, there’s been a history of church leaders making up infallible truth as they go along.

The bishops should’ve seen it coming but still, I feel a slight twinge of sympathy. I mean, to wait a whole lifetime to be shafted

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