Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 19 April 2014

'Pope George' has my blessing

George Clooney
George Clooney

Not that religion interests me much, but I'm wondering how the billions of Catholics around the world prayed at Mass yesterday.

There's a bit in the liturgy, if memory serves, where the congregation prays for the Pope. But what happens when there is no-one on the throne? "We pray for eh... To Be Confirmed... our Pope" doesn't have a ring of infallibility to it, does it?

Mind you, I suppose the same vacuum has occurred every time one Pope dies and another has yet to be elected. I must have experienced this at least twice in my younger days – between Paul VI and John Paul I (Yay! What a lovely man!) and between JPI and JPII (Yay! What a cool dude! Oh, wait a minute, he's a right wing, ultra conservative dude actually. Boo!) But I can't remember. I must've wiped all that from my mind....

They say the next one might be American. Wow, might we be in for Pope Buck, Pope Chip or Pope Joey? While they're at it, they should consider electing someone good looking, like George Clooney. So he spouts outrageous nonsense, never mind, he's gorgeous!

Benedict had no twinkle to fall back on when his failings as a nice human being caught up with him. At least a looker might sweeten the bitter pill.

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