Belfast Telegraph

Sunday 28 December 2014

Queen isn't only one set to rain over us for long time

If this weather's getting you down, here's a word of advice if you don't want to be even more depressed.

Whatever you do, DO NOT look up the long range weather forecast online. From here to eternity it's just rain, rain, rain and more rain.

Looking out at the sodden garden the other day, I thought I'd cheer myself up by checking the long-term prospects. My reasoning was "It can't rain forever, can it?"

Maybe not, but according to the Met people, it's going to do a very good impression of endless wet.

All those shorts and skimpy tops you rushed out to buy a few weeks ago are lookin' fairly redundant now. If you're one of the ten thousand who gets a ticket for the Queen's garden party at the end of June, I'd plan on water-proof feathers for the hat and a rubberised suit if I were you.

Remember those high-heeled wellies that were in vogue some years back? Hoke out a pair if you have them, you'll be the envy of all.

Can't imagine Prince Phillip wanting to stand around in the pouring rain if he comes. Not with his bladder. All that water ... he'd never be done with the royal flush. Maybe they'll fill the event with accountants and lawyers, just to keep things dry.

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