Belfast Telegraph

So, what’s Rihanna got to do with Irish politics?

By Nuala McKeever

At the end of this month, Irish voters will elect their new President, just in time for Hallowe’en. Which is sort of fitting as there are a lot of ghosts hovering in the campaign trail air.

From Martin McGuinness’s IRA activities to David Norris’s letter-writing activities, the media won’t let up on poking into every corner to find things the candidates would prefer be put to rest.

It must be hard explaining some of the runners to a foreigner trying to follow the election. “So, there is one man who is gay and one man who is CALLED Gay, but he is NOT gay?” Yes, that’s right. “And the woman who is famous for singing about “All Kinds Of Everything”, actually only wants a very limited number of options when it comes to personal choices on certain matters like abortion, for example?” Yes, that’s right.

“And one man is a big fan of Joyce?” Yes that’s right. “But Joyce is not a woman?” No, that’s right. “So he likes a man named Joyce?” You’ve got it.

“And this peace-maker from Strokederry, he wants to move forward while insisting on enquiries into the past?” Eh yeah.

“So how does Rhianna fit into all this?!?!” Oh, she doesn’t, we just like looking at that photo of her in a bikini.

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