Belfast Telegraph

Tuesday 16 September 2014

The chocolate chips are down when they start messing with my favourite treats

Certain horrible modernisms I can just about handle – people on buses, all on phones, not acknowledging other human beings around them; young people no longer shaking your hand when you're introduced; total disregard for the correct use of apostrophes as if grammar's as relevant as a horse-drawn carriage. But one recent aberration that's been creeping in insidiously is simply unacceptable and it has to stop now.

Chocolate scones.

Sorry? Chocolate scones? Scones.... with chocolate bits in them?

No, I'm afraid this is a transgression too far. How dare anyone take the venerable institution that is a scone and screw around with it like this? They just don't go together!!! It's like some awful Yank moving into Jane Austen's house and putting a hot tub in the arboretum. I tell you what. You can keep yer fleg protests. Flegs, schmegs... but over THIS, I'd go to the white line! No Surrender!!!

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