Can't believe Clinton Cards have missed such an obvious trick — where are all the ‘Happy July 12’ cards? How come we haven't turned this holiday into a marketing orgy like every other one?
Where are the helium balloons with ‘Happy Orangefest!’ written on them? The mugs with ‘World's Best Walker’ on them? Maybe I just don't shop in the right parts of town, but I'm amazed the whole Twelfth has inspired no really specific tack.
Oh sure, there's plastic Ulster flags and Union flag umbrellas, but there must also be a market for all things Glorious — inflatable sashes, light-up King Billys, bouncy Boynes, glow-in-the-dark carryout holders, Orange flavoured WKD, disposable bonfires for those who've no room for the real big ones, grow-your-own flowerbeds to save the lads “in high spirits” from urinating in other people's and twirly batons with Homer Simpson singing The Sash when they're thrown in the air.
Here, I feel a Dragon's Den application coming on ...