Will Paris be right match for Beckhams?
Published 05/02/2013 | 04:20
Paris St Germain Man: "Ah, Bonjour, Les Beckhams! Bienvenue a Paris!"
Le Becks: "Yeah... well... obvioushly, me an' Victoria are obvioushly deligh'ed to be 'ere... obvioushly."
La Posh strikes a sideways pose, one foot slightly forward of the other, her sharp cheekbones unrelieved by anything approaching a smile. She says nothing.
French Guy: "So.. 'ow iz your French?"
Davide: "Yeah... well... obvioushly, me an' Victoria 'ave brushed up a few important words... obvioushly. Eh... "le weekend", obvioushly, that's one I like and I think Victoria 'as a favourite, don't you?"
La Mute almost imperceptibly raises the corners of her mouth in an impression of the Mona Lisa, if the Mona Lisa hadn't eaten anything for about a year. She says nothing.
"Le shopping!", laughs Le Boy-Made-Good. "My wife loves a good hoke around the sales, don't you Vic?"
This comment goes down with La Mona Beckham about as well as a tattoo at the Galgorm Manor Hotel. She says nothing.
French Guy: "Per'aps your lovely wife would like to try a Parisian delicacy, non?"
Le Underpants: "Eh, well, Victoria doesn't tend to eat much, obvioushly."
Davide: "Oh, she's not that bad when you get to know her!"
PSG Man: "Frogs legs?"
Davide: "No, that's just the way she's standin... obvioushly."
La Wife says nothing.