Belfast Telegraph

Ban on women drivers is virgin on ridiculous

By Robert McNeill

Nutter news, and Saudi religious leaders say repealing a ban on women drivers would result in "no more virgins". Wonder if that's what happened in Glasgow?

There's a good reason for banning women from driving and that's because, as revealed in this column previously, they're rubbish at it.

Young, testosterone-leaking men should also be banned. Indeed, only men in the 52-54 age group, preferably with beards and impressive noses, should be allowed to drive.

Saudia Arabia's National Council for Theological Bilge also claims relaxing the ban would see more citizens turning to homosexuality and pornography. You can see the logic, right enough. One top cleric claimed that, sitting in a coffee shop in another Muslim country - one that allowed females to drive - "all the women were looking at me". Maybe his flies were undone. He added: "One made a gesture that made it clear she was available."

Eh? I live in a country where women have wreaked havoc on the roads for centuries and, not once, has any burd in a coffee shop made clear she was available. In fact, if you marry his logic with my experience, relaxing the driving ban will only result in more women scowling at you or raising their eyes to the ceiling. Mind you, my flies are always down.

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