Belfast Telegraph

UK Website Of The Year

Bet Van didn't think he would be so lucky

By Robert McNeill

Published 17/08/2012

Kylie Minogue
Kylie Minogue

The world reeled back in shock on hearing that Jean-Claude Van Damme had slept - in the non-sleeping sense - with Kylie Minogue.

That's right. Our Kylie. The People's Kylie.

Yon wee slip of a thing with that big brute.

To be fair to the latter, I haven't seen any of his films, but understand they tend to be pugnacious.

For some reason, he often wears a beret, which is never a good sign.

In an interview with London local paper, The Guardian, Van Damme confessed to committing the transgression in 1994, a lax year for morals.

Matters were made worse with the revelation that the episode occurred in Thailand, a country avoided by God-fearing folk.

Van Damme expanded lecherously: "I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand."

Well, that's certainly a new word for it. Perhaps if he'd kept his Thailand in his trousers, there wouldn't be a furore.

That said, I believe Van Damme was footloose and fancy-free at the time, and so perfectly within his rights to hobnob with persons of the opposite gender.

In a sense, albeit meaningless, he's Van Dammed if he did and Van Dammed if he didn't.

But, damn it: Kylie! No wonder she's been wandering around ever since with one eyebrow permanently raised.

Your Comments

COMMENT RULES: Comments that are judged to be defamatory, abusive or in bad taste are not acceptable and contributors who consistently fall below certain criteria will be permanently blacklisted. The moderator will not enter into debate with individual contributors and the moderator’s decision is final. It is Belfast Telegraph policy to close comments on court cases, tribunals and active legal investigations. We may also close comments on articles which are being targeted for abuse. Problems with commenting?

Read More

From Belfast Telegraph