What is happening in women's trousers? Barely a day goes by without headlines screaming about some female celebrity peculiarly clad below the waist.
Cheryl - Mrs Cole of that ilk - was first to suffer. Top commentators said it was impossible to tell if the singing celebrity's tight skinny jeans were made of rubber. It's a conundrum, right enough. I mean: are they rubber or aren't they? I mean, for God's sake, what's going on here?
Jeez, this is eating me up. Worse still, combining the controversial pantaloons with a chunky black cardigan was described as "bizarre". Well, if they say so.
One report pointed out helpfully that Denmark - where the rubber, or possibly non-rubber, trousers first appeared - was a "Nordic country". You wouldn't think National Geographic magazine would have to explain that. Also in the news for the coverings on her pins was Kim Kardashian, the non-singing celebrity. She wore skorts. You'll think I've typed a misprint and that the editor will be demanding an explanation.
But this is a garment that looks like shorts from the front and a skirt from the back. In the name of the wee man!
Have they any idea of the distress they are causing?