Belfast Telegraph

Sunday 1 March 2015

Christiano Ronaldo's hair doesn't score with one fan

Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo

Bad news for my mate Aidan. His wee boy wants a haircut like Christiano's, as in Ronaldo of that ilk.


This was a reasonable aspiration until recently. Ronaldo's head was not the most outlandish, though my friend worried about the use of "product" on a young boy's hair.

But every man must experiment with gel. Even I have done so, with predictably disastrous results. Either it sticks up too much, or is patchy, or greasy, and sometimes it interferes with your wi-fi signal.

But now Ronaldo has gone a step-over too far. Inspired perhaps by the ever-changing follicular follies of fellow footballer Derek Beckham, he's currently sporting three different hairstyles simultaneously. How talented is that?

I won't spare you the details: he has had a stripe shaved along one side of his head.

The rest of the sides (both) are shaved in the traditional manner, while the top of his barnet boasts wet-look spikes.

It looks kind of indecisive. Leading hair academics have been uncomplimentary, noting that, if anything, the coiffure only matches his "confused" dress sense.

Poor chap. With any luck, Aidan's boy will ditch Ronaldo as a trichological inspiration, and look to more traditional role-models from football, such as Sir Bobby Charlton and the aptly named Nobby Stiles.

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