Even if cap fits, don’t wear it William
How distressing to see William Hague, aged 49 and a half, wearing a baseball cap.
The offensive millinery sums up all that's bad in modern society.
You'd never employ someone wearing such headgear, nor permit them to woo your daughter.
So why is the Foreign Secretary of Britainshire blundering about with his onion thus encumbered?
Coupled with shades, he looked like he was on his way to a rapping rave, if that is the term.
Some will think he looked pretty cool, particularly as has kept himself slim, instead of succumbing to Politician’s Gut.
You must have seen footage from that House of Commons where someone is up on his hind legs ululating, and behind him, seated, are all those paunches spilling over their waistbands.
And they call this democracy?
When William spotted a camera snapping him, he removed the baseball cap immediately, exposing his bald bonce to the sun.
Then he removed the wraparound shades, too, and suddenly all his cool had gone.
He just looked like a middle-aged bloke in faintly embarrassing duds.
One fashion expert frothed: “Jeans, Nike trainers and wraparound sunglasses — last popular with the wannabe surfer dudes in the 90s — are best left to teenagers.”
Mr Hague is expected to be disciplined when David Cameron returns from his holiday in Cornwall.