Fat chance of this plan working
Of all cuts in Britain's austerity programme, surely this is the most extreme: reducing the size of the citizenry's biscuits.
You heard right. Ministers want the fatty delights made smaller to help tackle the obesity epidemic.
Funny, I don't remember biscuits being mentioned as Dave and Clegg first lovingly billed and cooed in that sunny Downing Street back-garden when first they came to power.
Were custard creams in the party manifestos?
I think not.
Yet, HM Government's 'Responsibility Deal' will encourage biccie producers to reduce both size and the unhealthy ingredients that made Britain what it is today. Fat.
Ukip deputy leader Paul Nuttall raced down his drive to denounce the plans as "ludicrous". Philosophically, he added: "A jammy dodger is a jammy dodger."
Political analysts agreed this was the first time Ukip had said anything that made sense. But can the rising, nutter-based political force stop the Coalition taking the "eat" out of Great Britain?