Gaga may be gaunt but Bowie was barmy
Lady Gaga news, and the controversial person has scandalised the world by going all thin. But get this - it's all done with prosthetics.
Her new coupon is gaunt, with cheekbones you could slice peaches with. Someone has painted eyebrows half-way up her forehead.
I don't mind this sort of thing. In pop, you must keep changing your head and other appurtenances to remain interesting.
David Bowie excelled at this but a new book reveals his insane drug-taking and excesses of a libidinous nature.
He became obsessed with yon occult and feared his mistress would give birth to a child of Stan (Satan in some translations).
Miss Gaga is a model of rectitude compared to this nincompoopery, though she shares with Bowie a faddiness of diet.
At one point, Bowie lived on nothing but peppers, milk and cocaine.
He looked a right sight and never knew what day it was.
I didn't get where I am today by not knowing what day it is, though I accept the ability is over-rated.
Gaga just didn't eat anything, so she could fit into her unfeasibly wee clothes.
Result: hospitalised repeatedly.
My advice to young persons remains the same. Eat properly. Get plenty of fresh air. And stick in at those trumpet lessons.