Belfast Telegraph

Gaga may be gaunt but Bowie was barmy

By Robert McNeill

Lady Gaga news, and the controversial person has scandalised the world by going all thin. But get this - it's all done with prosthetics.

Her new coupon is gaunt, with cheekbones you could slice peaches with. Someone has painted eyebrows half-way up her forehead.

I don't mind this sort of thing. In pop, you must keep changing your head and other appurtenances to remain interesting.

David Bowie excelled at this but a new book reveals his insane drug-taking and excesses of a libidinous nature.

He became obsessed with yon occult and feared his mistress would give birth to a child of Stan (Satan in some translations).

Miss Gaga is a model of rectitude compared to this nincompoopery, though she shares with Bowie a faddiness of diet.

At one point, Bowie lived on nothing but peppers, milk and cocaine.

He looked a right sight and never knew what day it was.

I didn't get where I am today by not knowing what day it is, though I accept the ability is over-rated.

Gaga just didn't eat anything, so she could fit into her unfeasibly wee clothes.

Result: hospitalised repeatedly.

Role-models, eh?

My advice to young persons remains the same. Eat properly. Get plenty of fresh air. And stick in at those trumpet lessons.

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