Belfast Telegraph

Guess who's not coming to dinner with Royals?

By Robert McNeill

I'm glad I'm not going to the Queen's for my Christmas this year. She and Prince P have invited 27 guests for their festive feasting. Disloyal subjects on the internet refer to the collection as "the original benefits scroungers", which I think uncharitable, particularly at this time of the year when our thoughts should be with the rich.

Mind you, I'm a bit fogged by the guest list. There are no fewer than four Chattos. Who they? There's Mike Tindall, too, the bald rugby player who married one of the burdz.

Staff lackeys have been grumbling that they'll have to shove up the bed to make room for the visitors. One said: "Sandringham is a large country house by anyone's standards, but they're going to be crammed in like sardines this year." Hmm, sounds oleaginous. No Pippa among the pilchards this year. However, she'll be turning up on Boxing Day to shoot things. Such fun.

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