Belfast Telegraph

Monday 22 September 2014

How Natalie Holt left Simon Cowell shell-shocked

Natalie Holt throws eggs at Simon Cowell and judges 'Britain's Got Talent' Final TV Programme, London, Britain. - 08 Jun 2013

That the eggs were organic and from Marksies added a touch of class to the proceedings, and encapsulated the gulf between the thrower, one Natalie Holt, and the Cowell, a controversial individual whose peculiarly shaped head sums up all that's wrong with western civilisation.

Natalie had been coached in throwing by her cricket bowling boyfriend. So the act was planned with malice aforethought. Good.

Alas, there's been a backlash, with detractors claiming Natalie is deranged or, as one put it, "two eggs short of an omelette".

This injustice is made worse by the knowledge that Cowell will profit from the incident. He gets royalties every time it's viewed on YouTube. Thus the way the world turns well for the wicked. However, Natalie isn't without taint. She herself took part in Britain's Allegedly Got Talent, cheapening herself and western society in the process.

Her objection is to miming and to the exploitative nature of the show. She also deplores the need to sell one's soul to the Cowell.

All very noble. But she should have known never to go near such shenanigans with a viola – even if it can't have been that difficult to mime playing one.

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