Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 1 October 2014

How Posh likes to keep in the shade

Covered up: Victoria Beckham

Now we know why Victoria Beckham wears big shades all the time. The poor burd’s got bags under her eyelobes.

Showing up at a shop in London, the celebrity wife was snapped sans shades as she conducted crucial negotiations for a frock. I didn’t detect much by way of bags, but professional Becks watchers insisted she looked tired.

Certainly, shades cover a multitude of sins. I always mean to wear them myself, as hiding half my face does improve matters a tad. But I never remember to take them out of the freezer.

That said, I don’t trust those who do wear them, particularly when there’s no sunshine. Squat baldies wear them as part of their uniform, along with shin-length shorts.

There’s something evil about shades. When you check the rear-mirror of your car and catch a shades-wearer driving behind, they look peculiarly grim and faintly sinister.

Maybe that’s just me. Easily frightened, d’you see? I’d certainly be frightened to live the life of Posh. She described it as “a juggling act”. I wondered what she was famous for.

Juggling. Never thought there was much call for it nowadays. Bet she never thought she’d end up rich and famous when she tossed her first skittles into the air all those years ago.

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