If aliens arrive, I hope that they won't interrupt the footie match
Citizens are now so hi-tech and cool that if aliens landed they'd remain unfazed, says a psychologist.
Time was when our expected reaction, as rational beings, would have been to run about holding our heads and shouting "Don't panic! The aliens are here! We're all going to die!"
Now, it seems, folk might look up briefly before they carried on texting. Dr Albert Harrison says the discovery of aliens would not lead to "widespread psychological disintegration and collapse". Well, no wonder. That happened years ago in the States.
To be honest, even I, a childlike man still imbued with a sense of wonder, have started to get fed up with the aliens. Either come on down or sod off.
If their landing was broadcast live on Sky, they'd have to make sure it didn't clash with the football, if they wanted me to pay attention. Even then, they'd better have pretty impressive tentacles and stuff.