Belfast Telegraph

If you want to get ahead, get a beardFleshy-faced: Brad Pitt

By Robert McNeill

Facial hair news, and controversy raged as Brad Pitt shaved his beard off and Russell Brand was urged to grow his back.

Brad had grown a fairly peculiar pointed effort, flecked with the colour of dread: grey. Anguished news reports suggested the “sexiest man alive” had lost his appeal. He’d become “unkempt” and “unsightly”, they wailed. It seems this beardist prejudice may have got to him, as he has now rejoined the ranks of the fleshy-faced, to widespread sighs of relief from the ignorant mob.

Of course, he may return to the comradeship of the hirsute of phizog when he finishes filming Moneyball, in which he plays Billy Beane, who founded a baseball team despite a lack of funds. Sounds fascinating.

Russell Brand, meanwhile, has shaved his beard off to play the lead role in Arthur, a remake of the 1981 film that starred the late Dudley Moore. Result: Russell looks distinctly goofy. Ironically enough, at one point in the film he does wear a ridiculous false beard, but even that is an improvement on his coupon sans cheveux .

The simple truth is that some men were born to be bearded, while others remain immature-looking and incomplete. Jesus, Charles Darwin, Che Guevara, even the Good Lord himself: all the world’s greatest men had beards.

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