Belfast Telegraph

Is this proof that Tom's church is just rubbish?

By Robert McNeill

All religions based on a benevolent deity are self-evidently nuts, but some are more nutty than others. For your consideration: scientology, a pile of hokum dreamed up by a science-fiction writer.

It has attracted many leading academics, including Tom Cruise and John Travolta. On the streets, you sometimes see scientolicators casting their nets for lost souls, many of whom later claim they were brainwashed.

I cannot comment on these claims, as I do not have a brain.

However, I was intrigued to read of Oscar-winning director Paul Haggis alleging the organisation had employed private detectives to rake through his bins. I used to fancy being a private detective, but think I'll give it a miss now. Paul claims they're raking his rubbish to find material that could discredit him after he left the loopy outfit. How does that work then?

Anyone looking through my bins could proclaim: "He eats oven chips and has decided to abandon writing a novel based around a piece of fruit."

Says Paul: "I was in a cult for 34 years. Everyone else could see it. I don't see why I couldn't." That's a good point, well made.

Still, you're free now, mate. Just take your oven chip wrappers and other incriminating evidence to the dump yourself.

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