Belfast Telegraph

Sunday 31 August 2014

It's time to reflect on wardrobe boob, Tess

Tess Daly

We need to talk about Tess Daly's cleavage. Well, we don't need to, but I believe it would be morally uplifting to do so.

Tess is married to chubby comedian Peter Kay and used to play Moog synthesiser for the Spice Girls until she was replaced by Victoria Beckham.

Now she hosts the hit comedy Strictly Come Dancing, and recently caused outrage and joy - sometimes in the same household - when she displayed an excess of mammarial resources on the show.

But here's the rub: Tess wasn't aware of any problem. After the furore, and outbreaks of rioting in several rural areas, an investigation was ordered and she told a packed meeting of the House of Commons cleavage committee: "Oh my god, why did nobody tell me about the boobs?"

OMG - let's get textual here - indeed.

Tess furnished an explanation which gets kind of technical, but stick with it: "What happened was, the bra I had on didn't fit the dress so I wore one of those designs that has gel at the sides, which kind of pushed you up and, I guess, gives you an extra couple of cup sizes."

Gel? Pushed? Cup? What can it all mean?

Meantime, here's my fashion tip for Tess: look in the mirror, dear. It's kind of a glass, reflecting thing.

COMMENT RULES: Comments that are judged to be defamatory, abusive or in bad taste are not acceptable and contributors who consistently fall below certain criteria will be permanently blacklisted. The moderator will not enter into debate with individual contributors and the moderator’s decision is final. It is Belfast Telegraph policy to close comments on court cases, tribunals and active legal investigations. We may also close comments on articles which are being targeted for abuse. Problems with commenting? customercare@belfasttelegraph.co.uk

Latest News

Latest Sport

Latest Showbiz