Like Carol Vorderman, I'm digging my heels in over stilettos...
One of the many good things about being a man, even an alleged man, is that we don't have to wear high heels. A female friend in her 50s is struggling to give them up.
Sure, heels look sexy. But they play havoc with everything from your pelvis to your arches.
I'd never really looked closely at high heels before, not without feet in them at any rate, and was shocked at a shoe shop to see the sheer steep angle of them. It's right unnatural.
A study by the College of Podiatry found that aptly named killer heels start hurting after an average of one hour and six minutes. A fifth of women are in pain after just 10 minutes.
No wonder so many are trying to kick the habit. Even Sarah Jessica Parker, who played tottering tottie Carrie Bradshaw in the deplorable Sex and the City, has had to give them up.
Victoria Beckham, wife of retired footer player Derek of that ilk, had to have surgery on her bunions, which she said were caused by high heels.
Professional sexy person Carol Vorderman recently fell off her heels and broke her beak.
What to do? Flat shoes, alas, make for instant frumpiness. So, I'm afraid you'll just have to carry on wearing heels, gals.