Belfast Telegraph

My life's a beach, thanks to jellyfish

By Robert McNeill

How sad to read of louts invading Helen's Bay in Co Down as decent citizens lay dormantly absorbing vitamin D.

It ended with two police Land Rovers, a highway patrol car and a police motorcycle patrolling the road by the beach. It was never like this in the 1950s, when the sun was also more yellow.

The louts drank, swore, and subjected the innocent to sectarian abuse.

At roughly the same time, I too was on a beach beside Edinburgh, an experience I enjoyed by and large, though I fear I won't be returning.

Persuaded to abandon my footwear, I contracted some kind of skin disease possibly, according to my internet research, caused by the halitosis of baby jellyfish. Damn their evil wobbles.

The experience was also marred by the prevalence of tubby individuals cooking burgers on portable barbies. Not easy on the new vegetarian.

Tell you what: it's a jungle out there on the beach.

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