Now the Queen and I are in the same financial boat
I hate to say it, but I'm having a fine financial crisis. True, I'm skint and struggling, but few of the new austerity measures affect me.
Higher starting rate before you pay income tax? Brilliant. Bring it on. Benefit payments to middle earners scrapped? Doesn’t affect me.
I’m not a middle earner — though it's an aspiration — and I don’t claim benefits.
I’m particularly happy this affects child benefits since, as a single person, I’m sick of subsidising families.
Capital gains tax increased? Couldn’t give a flying one. Increased VAT will affect me sometimes, I suppose, but not much. You want 50p more for a t-shirt? Even I could find that. I feel sorry for anyone in the public sector who bears the brunt. Public sector workers are always the first target of thoughtless blowhards.
Even Her Majesty, a queen, has been told she’s not getting a rise. But I’m sure, like me, she’ll muddle through.