Belfast Telegraph

Oh yes, they were ... even the Krankies were at it

By Robert McNeill

So The Krankies also turn out to be gods with feet of clay. Let me first declare a lack of interest here. Though they're clearly a Scottish institution, I've never been clear what The Krankies are. At first, I thought they were two wee men. Then it seemed they were brother and sister.

But it turns out they are man and wife. How peculiar.

They're big in panto, a peculiarly Caledonian illness, which straddles the faultline between entertainment and phoning the Samaritans. Be that as it may, they're weel kent faces with their amusing and interesting catchphrase 'fan-dabi-dozi'. Harmless stuff, you'd think. People to look up to. People who entertain children. Innocents. Family fun.

But no. Even they're at it. Reader: "At what? Speak plainly, man." You know. It. Running around housing estates in the nude. Unfaithfulness behind the bushes on golf courses. Frequent affairs. The works. They even trashed Status Quo's tourbus. Is nothing sacred? The taller of the two Krankulations ululated thus: "I think drink had a lot to do with it."

The admission came as something of a relief. One half expected him to blame it on the heroin. On the other hand, he also admitted to punching Paul Daniels. So you can't say he'd lost all sense of decency.

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