Belfast Telegraph

Robert McNeill: I worry about what Katie Price may do next

New research by top fretologists claims we get worried seven times a day. Seven times a minute more like.

Here’s a peek at my mind on the moment of waking: “Get off me, Jordan! Oh thank God, it was just a dream. Well, I’m still alive anyway. I suppose that’s a blessing, in the loose sense of the word.

“Aaargh, there’s a half-eaten pie on my shoulder! Oh cripes, that’s right, I got up in the middle of the night because I was hungry. Must have fallen asleep half-way through eating it. That it has come to this, Rab McNeill: you fell asleep cuddling a pie.

“That’s a new worrying development. I’ll just add it to the mortgage, my health, the roof, getting older, going greyer, the possibility of North Korea getting nuclear weapons, and the future of journalism.”

And so it goes for the rest of the day. But don’t worry on my account.

Belfast Telegraph

Popular

From Belfast Telegraph