Belfast Telegraph

Robert McNeill: Kim Kardashian, Lizzie Miller, Gemma Merna... name that celebrity

Celebrities are supposedly famous. So, I scrolled a list of celebrity stories on a newspaper website to see which I recognised.

Coleen: yup, presumably Rooney of that ilk. Lizzie Miller: nope. Myleene: yup, newsreader? David Beckham: yup, footballer for poor national side. Connie Fisher: singer, forced to watch her in a musical. Frank Lampard: yup, footballer. Christine Bleakley: his bird. Chloe Mafia: joke, right? Gemma Merna: eh?

Cat Deeley and Elle MacPherson: yup, saw former on TV quiz show; know latter's name, actor? model? Mrs MacPherson's wee lassie? Kelly Osbourne: Ozzy's daughter. Diana Vickers: no idea. Hazel Davis: Hazel who? Josh Duhamel: nope. Carol Vorderman: oh, yes. Kim Kardashian: nope; Star Trek surname? Rochelle: as if.

Randy Quaid: yup, actor (it says here). Jessica Simpson: cartoon character. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck: former no, latter yes. Marlon McKenzie: nope. Julia Roberts: yum. Ruth Crilly: nope. Tamara Drewe: fictional character? Robbie Williams: yes, nice lad. Rihanna: no surname? Katy Perry: sounds familiar, but nope. Angelina: yup, Jolie, bonnie lass in right light.

Lindsay Lohan: yup — fascinating name (Lohan means enlightened Buddhist). Rikki Lake: nope. Madonna: yup, idiot. Emma Gillespie: nope. Heidi Klum: nope, used to know a Klum (short for Callum). Earl Spencer: yup, cad. Nicola Roberts: no idea. Eighteen out of 37. How did you do?

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