Belfast Telegraph

Robert McNeill: The afterlife calling ...

By Robert McNeill

I've started thinking about how I'd like to be buried.

Not that my death is imminent, unless Jehovah the Sadist has a cunning plan in hand.

But it's a rare week that doesn't feature new stories about how people want to go and where: woodlands, biodegradable hampers, wearing the wife's favourite dress, and so forth.

Now it seems millions of people want to take their mobile phones with them to the grave.

Hell's bells.

Well at least let's hope they switch the thing to 'silent' first.

A top mortician also says citizens now want "a more individual ceremony that reflects the life of the person who has died".

Excellent.

So there'll be nobody at mine, apart from some baffled authority figures mumbling and stroking their chins.

The words of the service will be: "Who?"

What will I take with me for the afterlife?

Why, a book by Prof Richard Dawkins on atheism, of course.

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