Belfast Telegraph

Time to shave to save yourself from press persecution, Pratt

By Robert McNeil

Beard news, and the unfortunately named Spencer Pratt is the latest hairy-faced chap to be pilloried by the mid-market press.

The former reality-style star has split up with former reality-style star Heidi Montag — I hope you’re following this (I have already had to look up Wikipedia twice) — and has since gone on to grow a magnificent soup-strainer.

The papers described his facial fungus as “out of control”, as if it were a bucking bronco.

Mind you, Spencer, who is allegedly American, hasn’t helped his case by declaring of Ms Montag: “She doesn’t talk to me because I’m loco.”

I see. Could be problematic.

He added: “I’m an artist now. I’ve got an easel and everything.”

Well, Spencer, that puts the tin lid on it!

Mr Pratt appears to me to be buckling under the weight of his own beard. He needs to rein it in, otherwise continuing persecution by the clean-shaven press could push him under.

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