Belfast Telegraph

Friday 26 December 2014

What did Katy do next after she saw Russell?

Katy Perry
Katy Perry

Pity poor Katy Perry. Ooh, your mouth goes on tiptoes when you say that a couple of times.

However, I haven't gathered you here today to indulge in oral tiptoes.

My thesis concerns the smallness of the world. Not my world or your world, but their world.

You speak. "Who the hell do you mean by 'they'?" Oh, do try to keep up. The celebs, of course.

They as in our latter-day gods, whose doings and couture fascinate the lieges.

I witter thus after reading that Russell Brand, noted sex fiend and actor, walked into a restaurant. Nothing remarkable there. Sex fiends and actors walk into restaurants every day.

But his ex - the aforementioned poor Katy Perry that we pitied - was there. And what did she do? Correct. She hid under the table. Then she tiptoed oot.

My point is this: with all their money, why don't celebs go to other places in the world?

How come they fetch up in the same Beverley Hills restaurant?

You say: "Yon Hills is where the work is for these folk. You haven't much chance of landing a film role if you hang about Carryduff every day and eat at the chippie."

Fair point. I'm just saying these people should spread out more.

It would save having to hide under tables.

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