When it comes to dancing Becks doesn't want to go near the ball
Published 08/06/2012 | 08:00
Posh Beckham has criticised the footwork of her husband, Derek. Fear not, she isn't referring to his sublime soccer skills, but to his dancing.
Dancing is a shameful activity for a man, and so Derek's alleged inabilities in the field are to be commended.
Posh made her controversial remarks while making a video to promote Britainshire abroad, which is where, coincidentally, she lives.
Posh - real name Victoria, after the torn-faced old monarch - ululated thus: "David loves music - but can't dance." Strictly speaking, this may not be correct. He can dance well enough with a ball at his feet. He has danced through defences and around lunging tackles.
However, it's thought that Posh was referring to the practice of gyrating the hips in a lewd and libidinous manner as part of a primitive mating ritual.
No good ever came of that sort of thing, which decent people restrict to the privacy of their own home.