Belfast Telegraph

Who said marriage was just a fun game?

By Robert McNeil

I’m proud to announce there are no games on my computer. Far too stern for that sort of thing.

I don’t get the computer games fad. Once, I ventured into a shop specialising in them. I fancied a new hobby that would take me to a new, less smelly world. But every game involved simulated violence. Then citizens wonder why there’s so much aggression in society.

I’ve seen daft liberal parents wailing about the glorious war against Saddam, then buying toy guns for their irresponsibly conceived infants. I remember one child brandishing some evil-looking toy ordnance and telling me: “This one could blow your head off from two miles.”

Avuncular guest: “And this boot could launch you into the next garden, you unpleasant little fascist.” All followed by tears and tantrums. And that was just the parents. This week, a new study claims many marriages are being wrecked by video game addiction. World Of Warcraft, in particular, leads many hubbies to set forth on quests against gryphons in Azeroth, instead of listening to their wives wittering on.

Perhaps someone could invent a game called World Of Wittercraft, where female players set forth on magical quests to the shops and score points for every unnecessary purchase of shoes.

Better than all that violence.

Belfast Telegraph

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