Belfast Telegraph

Why binned teddy meals I need a cuddle

By Robert McNeil

A survey of 6,000 alleged adults shows more than a third still hug a teddy bear while falling asleep.

Aw, how sweet is that? One half of all citizens still have a teddy from childhood. I regret I'm not among them, even though I know I never progressed beyond the age of four, emotionally.

I went through a teddy phase in my early teens, for emotionally confusing reasons but, alas, my little cuddle-bundle fell foul of the Chuck-it-Outs. That was one of many respectful expressions I used for my parental authorities.

You couldn't turn your back on any cherished object for more than five minutes without them bunging it in the bin. Said objects included teddy.

The trauma still haunts me and explains why, to this day, I'm forever trying to cuddle people.

Police officers and tax inspectors usually react badly, but one in 30 barmaids will let it pass without lashing out or screaming.

Belfast Telegraph

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