Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 2 August 2014

Why I give manbags cold shoulder

I regret to announce I will not be buying a manbag. Secretly, I rather like them, but would never be seen dead in anything fashionable. You need chutzpah to carry off that sort of thing and, while I’ve a modicum of pah, I’m deficient in chutz.

Imagine my shock, therefore, to read that four in five men now carry a manbag.

The story was slated by leading intellectuals online and, surprisingly for the Daily Blackmail, offered no evidence beyond an observation that sales at Debenhams had “soared” by 2,700% since the start of the year.

The paper pointed out that footer players Derek Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo carried manbags. Well, that’s nearly everybody, right enough.

The bags are handy for holding iPads and similar toys. A Debenhams spokesdude said: “Gone are the days of just a bunch of keys and a wallet in your pocket.”

Keys? Wallet? Don’t tell me everybody’s carrying these as well.

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