Belfast Telegraph

Friday 22 August 2014

Why I'm not appy with Gwyneth Paltrow's latest fad

Gwyneth Paltrow is forever getting a pasting. The willowy American actress arouses the ire of the lieges with her blogs or tweets about food, exercise and health.

As she's blonde and bonny, I forgive her everything, though my jury is out about her latest enthusiasm: the Up wristband.

I do not approve of wristbands generally, as I cannot see their purpose. But, working alongside a smartphone app, this latest contraption measures your activity levels and vibrates if you're lazy. It even advises on meal choices. On the plus side, though, the Up band can sense your moods and tell you when you're feeling miserable. Which is likely to be shortly after shelling out 99 notes for one.

Riddle me this: does anyone actually use apps? I've forgotten all about mine. I've got an app that turns into a torch and an app that give me directions to the nearest public convenience.

Never used them once. Generally, I prefer just to pee where I stand. And I don't care if it's dark. I'll pee on anything.

So, app or no app, I won't be buying an Up wristband. But full marks to Gwyneth. She does keep trying to make us all feel better (which I might do with a Gwyneth on my arm, instead of a ruddy wristband).

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