Why life ain't so pants for Madonna
The buttock-baring entertainer was pop's top earner in 2012. Eye-popping figures follow, so pour yourself a fortified sherry and prepare to goggle your eyelobes.
Madonnie made £26.1m, much of it from touring to display the aforementioned buttocks. She was followed by Bruce Springsteen, purveyor of bland sounds, and Roger Waters, a musician specialising in glib social commentary.
What a world we live in. How can you make £26m just by wandering from A to B singing and flashing your pants? It doesn't add up. None of it does.
Sometimes you sympathise with these characters when they get a slating. Then you read how much they "earn". It's not just pop stars. I like the nerdy geek TV comedy The Big Bang Theory. You kind of feel sorry for the characters/actors.
Then you learn the sad but loveable gits are getting a third of a million dollars per episode! Jeez. And I thought we had so much in common.
Still, at least I've something in common with Madonnie. I discovered my new yoga class is the same stuff she does. It starts with a wee prayer thing. But there's still no sign of my money coming through.