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Strictly speaking, fish diet doesn't help me dance
Congratulations to Louis Smith for winning the final of television's Strictly Come Dancing show.
The king and I decree too much flesh is evil
We need to talk about Swaziland. The King of Swaziland and I have much in common. For a start, we both have facial hair, though his is a bit dodgy.
Filming Cate in this way was a nasty Hobbit
Of course I've seen The Hobbit. I'm a man of the world. But did this not entail visiting the cinema, a place I abhor? Yes, it did.
Has world ended for Chinese Mayan believers?
The Chinese don't muck about. There are too many people? Right, everybody can only have a maximum of one sprog or else they'll be imprisoned.
Let's stamp out this plan to treat our fine posties as second class
I hope you all gave a cheer for your postie on Monday. It was the first-ever national postal workers day, which sounds naff, but was designed to make the point that privatising the mail will be disastrous.
Don't spoil it for fans with any Law of the Rings
Tomorrow, at last, I get to see The Hobbit. For the past month, I've been geeking out on forums and dedicated websites. I've watched a dozen different trailers and have polished my 3D specs.
Why this feelgood movement on the internet really is site for sore eyes
It's not all nasty on the internet. On sites like eBay, I'm constantly surprised and delighted by the politeness, praise and all-round feelgood factor that's often to the fore.
Dolly showed a lot of pluck defying her old grandad
I was informed the other day that some women shave their legs all the time and others not at all. When I say "informed", I don't mean the intelligence was conveyed to me by a dispatch rider from the Government.
Did ancient man spend all day pottering about?
You can't beat a good crannog, and archaeologists appear to have discovered a doozy in a Fermanagh bog.
Why the long face Kylie, it's just gravity
Science news, and Kylie Minogue has been startled after encountering first-hand - or face - the effects of gravity.
Size does matter when it comes to text, just ask any e-male like me!
Let's talk about txts. Or texts, if you don't suffer from loose vowels. Texting celebrated its 20th birthday this week. And the first words of the first ever text? "Merry Christmas." Kinda sweet.
It's time to reflect on wardrobe boob, Tess
We need to talk about Tess Daly's cleavage. Well, we don't need to, but I believe it would be morally uplifting to do so.
How magic drink can help weight loss and stop GIs shooting at you!
At last, they've found it! Found what? You know. It. The elixir. Well, not the elixir. An elixir, at any rate.
Nothing beyond the reach of corporate greed
Can the capitalists not leave anything alone? Their crass behaviour constantly amazes.
In the name of all that's good, don't call your son Thor
Oh, it's a little baby boy. I think we'll call him Lager. He'll make a lovely sibling for his sister, Chlamydia. It's long been my contention that parents should not be allowed to name their own children but that the State should select these fairly and sensibly.
OMG, text speak just makes me want to LOL
Omg! Yet more trendy texty acronyms emerge.
How Justin's attire hits a new low
Bieber news, and the world's leading Justin has just gotten too small for his breeches.
What did Katy do next after she saw Russell?
Pity poor Katy Perry. Ooh, your mouth goes on tiptoes when you say that a couple of times.
If you want to look absolutely fabulous, just eat more lettuce
Food glorious food, vexed subject for bluster, while we're in the mood, cut back on the custard. Apologies for butchering the lines of the song from Oliver. But food is everywhere. We're drowning in the stuff. We swallow it, we fight it off, but still it assails us.
I'm smart enough not to hunt for my dinner!
Shock news: researchers say our intelligence is diminishing as we no longer need it to survive.
In pictures: UK Soap Awards
New suspects in Maddie probe
In Pictures: North West 200
In Pictures: Balmoral Show
Nice-but-dull Kate's annoying baby bump pose
FHM's sexiest women - Kunis knocks Tulisa off her perch
Latest News
PM faces gay marriage Bill backlash
David Cameron is facing a fresh bout of Tory strife after the coalition's plans to introduce gay marriage cleared the Commons.
Afghan interpreters can come to UK
Around 600 Afghan interpreters are to be offered the chance to settle in Britain after an apparent coalition rethink.
Electricity firm reveals 18% rise
Most typical household electricity bills in Northern Ireland will increase by £90 a year from July 1.
Latest Sport
Stoke confirm Pulis exit
Tony Pulis' seven-year reign as Stoke manager has come to an end after he and the club agreed to part company by mutual consent.
Corbisiero looking to make his mark
Alex Corbisiero is desperate to put an injury-ravaged season behind him and reassert his position as England's first-choice loosehead prop in the upcoming fixtures against the Barbarians and Argentina.
Lion O'Brien healing quickly
British and Irish Lions flanker Sean O'Brien could yet play for Leinster in Saturday's RaboDirect PRO12 final after making rapid progress in his recovery from a knee injury.
Latest Showbiz
Apprentice teams milking the profit
Apprentice hopefuls are hoping to avoid an udder disaster as they try to cream off the biggest profit in their latest task.
'World class' rocker Bolder dies
Bolder joined David Bowie's backing band in 1971, appearing on classic albums including Hunky Dory and Aladdin Sane. He went on to join Uriah Heep five years later and only stopped playing with the band a few months ago, due to his poor health.
Two films bring Italy to Cannes
La dolce vita has arrived in Cannes thanks to a pair of films set in Italy exploring lives of affluent ennui.
