Bieber news, and Justin of that ilk got stuck in a lift. No news there, you'd think. After all, no one resorted to the current fad for cannibalism.
However, the bombshell note was mimed by Cheryl - Mrs Cole of that ilk - who wished she'd been in the lift with the Bieber.
Speaking through an interpreter, Cheryl ululated: "Unfortunately I wasn't there. But I'm sure whoever was had a good time."
Well, that depends upon your definition of "time". And "good". Cheryl added of wee Justin: "He's so cute. He's gone from being this little boy into a young man."
I see. Is that cute as in something you'd like to pat on the head? We need to revive the Queen's English Society (see last week's piece) to clarify what "cute" means nowadays.
As for being a man, Justin was in the papers recently for punching someone in the nadular region. So I suppose he's learning.