I trust that talk of a lost town near Dunluce Castle being a 'little Pompeii' is not to be taken literally.
For a new exhibition about the ancient Italian city shows, according to a scandalised London Press, how 'utterly depraved' the Romans were.
Yes, madam, you heard right: depraved. Utterly. We're all familiar with the images of folk caught writhing in the destruction wrought by volcanic eruption. But the British Museum exhibition also showcases the city's, er, 'cultural life'. This includes a statute of the god Pan in a compromising position. With a nanny goat.
Even a cake-stand, normally a harmless artefact not unknown in decent kitchens, is held up by what can only described as a member. And not an honourable one at that.
I'm sure any cake-stands on the Causeway Coast at Dunluce are constructed in a manner more douce. And that all goats in the area keep themselves to themselves, instead of shamelessly flirting.