Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 24 April 2014

Madge will tear strip off Elton

Madonna during her recent tour

Yonder stand some pigeons and, behold, here comes a cat. And they don’t come any cattier than Sir Elton John, the pop legend who cured his baldness by smearing his head with money.

Sir Elt arose and put his platform boots straight into the unwisely exposed solar plexus of yon Madonna. Madonna is a goddess, in her dreams, but Sir E refuses to prostrate himself at her feet.

“She looks,” he said, “like a f****** fairground stripper.” Even with so many asterisks, he did not falter in his flipping castigation. He branded her a “nightmare” and claimed her career in music was over after her recent “disaster” tour. Funnily enough, I hadn’t really considered Madonnie in terms of music. Isn’t the music incidental to the gyrating?

But this is a delicious battle of the divas. And, mark my words with a yellow crayon, there’s an agenda here. For Madonna, no slouch with the barbed remarks, has had a go at the Gaga, even claiming she stole the thumpy-thumps from one of her own singles. And, lo, is not Gaga godmother to Elton’s wee boy Zachary? Readers, she is. Hence the duelling handbags.

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