I wish people would get off Cheryl Cole's back. And, while I've a nagging suspicion I ought to rephrase that, I think you'll find that it's too late, now that I'm at the end of my second sentence.
The current anti-Cheryl backlash is so predictable, and says a lot about human nature. It says: we are nutters.
To summarise the situation, Cheryl didn't vote for Gamu, who now faces death and torture in Zimbabwe as a result. Unbeknownst to her fellow X-Factor judges, Cheryl turns out to have been a top spy for Robert Mugabe, the brutal dictator with the poor singing voice.
Now, people are sending death threats to Cheryl — I mean, honestly — who is also being persecuted by fellow panelist Louis Walsh, a man with a little quiff.
To be honest, I'd never heard of Louis before researching this article. At first, I thought they might mean Louise Welsh, the crime writer. She might make an unlikely X-Factor judge, but nothing would surprise me now.
I am told that both the Rev Ian Paisley and Martin McGuinness are appearing in the next series of Strictly Come Dancing, which says it all really. In the meantime, lay off Cheryl.
I'm sure her current flirtation with African dictators is just a passing phase.