I think we can all agree that men are evil. Their preening at the gym has undone them.
Previously self-mythologised as the no-nonsense gender unconcerned about appearance, they turn out to be mirror-lickers.
And they're so aggressive! Even wee male sparrows are at it. Scientists at Duke University, North Carolina, USA, put a deceased, stuffed sparrow into the wild.
The poor thing was repeatedly mauled by the local featherweight males. Eventually, it's head fell off.
How appalling. I'm sick of men. It's bad enough that they now tell you they'd only one reason for going out on Friday nights when young: to get laid.
Last night, I read about someone who said that, whenever he went out, he analysed other males present to assess whether he could beat them in a fight.
Lordy, I didn't do any of these things. I just went out for a good time and to be happy. How weird was I?