"Why, what did you do, big nose?" you ask.

I'll tell you, madam: I stopped patronising said stores.

Why did I do that? Protest against pop-capitalism? Deserting shops for the internet? Dislike of Richard Branson's beard?

Nope, I'll tell you why I stopped going: I couldn't stand the heat.

It was like walking into an oven. Coming in from the cold could make even a young, fit man like me (work with me on this) feel dizzy.

Virgin was the worst for excessive heat but a new campaign group says plenty of others are still at it. Close The Door wants these shops to do just that.

Apart from baking us in our shoes, this over-heating is a terrific waste of energy, since such stores also keep their doors open to entice shoppers in - letting all the heat get out.

A newspaper measured the temperature in one store and found it on a par with Jamaica.

The donuts in charge seem to be saying: "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the store." Fair enough, we will. And they'll end up in the same cold grave as Virgin.